When You Are Standing in Poop

There’s this saying that has always resonated with me. It goes like this: When you are standing in poop for so long, you don’t notice the smell.

Lately this saying has been echoing for me on a lot of levels. My job is incredibly stressful and there really isn’t any need for it to be this way. I’m not saving any lives with the work I do. NO ONE ON MY TEAM is saving lives with the work we do. Yet, there is always a mad rush to get things done and to solve every problem there is. I could say it’s the nature of the institute and area I work in but I still think it’s ridiculous. None of this stress is necessary. It’s pointless.

My dad’s been sick and it’s been causing a number of problems across my family. It’s made my mom very angry and added undue stress to her and all of our lives. But the problem is my dad isn’t going to change. It’s sad because his behavior influences all of us but he’s too selfish to see that.

Family relations have always been tenuous and yet with all of the stuff happening with my dad, they seem multiplied – mostly because everyone expects me to be the peacemaker. I don’t even know how diplomats and politicians work around obtaining peace with people who want to consistently be at war. That’s what I experience so I don’t know how I am supposed to change that either.

I’ve been trying to get out of my slump – change my thinking, do things outside my routine but I’ve seen very little progress. A lot of other things which I don’t even want to get into are making me upset but I just keep it to myself.

Hence why I say that when you stand in poop so long, you don’t notice the smell. Change has to happen and as patient as I’ve been and as hard as I’ve worked, I guess I have to try harder.