At the Dog Run

Watching my dogs and other dogs in the dog run recently, I became convinced that life would be easier if we just acted like dogs more often. Yes, it’s my usual craziness but bear with me for a moment.

When dogs see each other, they can immediately let each other know they don’t like each other by growling. This is a super efficient if you ask me. No phoniness there. How much easier would my life be if I could just openly growl at people I don’t like and then just avoid them? Being polite sometimes really stinks. It’s so much simpler if we could be more open about how much we don’t like someone else without acting like grown ups and just dealing with them.

Dogs also sniff each other and see if they like each other’s scent. Once again, it works because given the small amount of time, they can figure out if they want to be friends with another dog fairly quickly. If we could just cut to the chase that way, we would save a lot of time. No, instead we hang out with people for at least a couple of hours or so before we decide if we like them. That is a lot of wasted time if you ask me.

The best time saving strategy of all is how dogs bark at one another when they sniff each other and decide they don’t like each other. They sniff, bark and then move away from each other. None of this “I’m not sure if I like you” or “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation to be had at all in dogville. Dogs are straightforward and practical and we should be that way too.

Motherly Advice

Yesterday I asked my mom to help me get fitted for a dress that I am going to wear for my friend’s wedding next month. My mom used to be a seamstress so I thought maybe she could even do the adjustments for me, which is why I asked her to come over.

She took a look at the dress and said ‘why don’t you just go naked to the wedding?’ because the dress is short and strapless. She proceeded to say that no matter what she did to bring in the top portion of the dress, my boobs would still hang out because the dress was strapless. She also mentioned that I should wear controlling underwear so that my flabby parts didn’t make me look deformed.

I love my mom because she is my mom. Normally this ranting would upset me but that’s just my mom. I can’t change her and I just laugh about what she says. Then I write it on my blog.

Literary Interpretation

In one of my first English classes in college, I was taught that everyone reads things very differently. Word choice and syntax could mean one thing to one reader but a completely different thing to another.

This made and makes complete sense to me. As much as I try to remember this there are times when I find it hard to believe that one person reads something that is so clearly going in one direction as the complete opposite.

Recently an email went out at work that very clearly expressed one sentiment. A number of people said that it was direct and to the point that one person was questioning another person’s decision. However, one solitary person read the email completely differently. They thought that the person was trying to say something else. No matter how many times we heard that persons comments and proof, we just couldn’t see how she read the email the way she did.

It dawned on me that this person who was arguing with us about our interpretation was actually not making a very good case because she didn’t add the important point that she would send out a note like this when she was frustrated. So clearly this person was thinking about what and how and when she would send out a note like this without looking at the intention and motives of the person who actually sent the letter.

Now, I’m not saying one way was better than another, I’m just saying that it’s important to see where people are coming from when they have an opinion. Sometimes it helps to interpret meaning and motives. Other times, it tells us more about the person who is interpreting that about the person who is writing.

Complaining in a Good Way

Complaining is human nature. I do it a lot and I’m certain everyone does it some degree – some less and some more. Someone pointed out that I do a lot of complaining in my blog and they said I should try to complain in a good way. This suggestion completely left me flummoxed because the meaning of complain is:

Main Entry: com•plain
Pronunciation: \kəm-ˈplān\
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Middle English compleynen, from Anglo-French compleindre, from Vulgar Latin *complangere, from Latin com- + plangere to lament — more at PLAINT
Date: 14th century
1 : to express grief, pain, or discontent
2 : to make a formal accusation or charge

Thank you very much Merriam Webster!

Obviously when we complain, we use the first instance of this verb more than the second. However, what I want to point out is that the meaning of the word says “to express discontent”. That’s all I’m doing. Yes, I’m discontented a lot but darn it, there is a lot to be discontent with.

I guess if the person is trying to tell me to stop complaining…then perhaps there is something to that. I probably should since after all most of the stuff I complain about isn’t stuff I can control. But to complain in a good way…I’m not really sure how to do that. Any suggestions?

Turning Heads

Today on my way to work I noticed something that truly annoyed me. Obviously as you know from reading my blog, there is any awful lot of stuff that grates on my nerves. But I think this might have a pretty high spot on my list of pet peeves.

A woman with a short skirt and high heels was walking in front of me. A number of different ideas raced through my head as I saw this site but that is neither here, nor there. However, when she walked past a number of men, they all physically turned their heads to look at her walk by.

I nodded my head in disbelief at them because subtly can really be charming in most instances of which this was NOT ONE!!

So it made me wonder why men can’t just keep their stares to themselves. Do they have to physically turn their heads at these visions? I know most women can control themselves when they see a lovely sight pass by them. But why can’t men?

Then I figured it out. It’s not with the eyes that they are seeing this vision…but with an appendage in their pants. How can that limb really look at a woman in a short skirt without turning, hence without turning the whole body? It’s not possible.

And that explains this naturally occurring and extremely ridiculous phenomenon.

Another mystery solved by me.

Precious Things

This week, the word or idea 'Precious' made its way into my consciousness on many levels.

The first was with the movie 'Precious' for which Mo'nique won an Oscar for best supporting actor in a female role. I enjoyed this movie immensely. That is not to say that I came out of the movie skipping and dancing, but that I thought it was an important movie. The main character has a very hard life but ultimately rises above it. It was inspirational.

Another way 'precious' appeared this week was via the main character from the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency series. I just started to read the most recent of the series called "Tea Time for the Traditionally Built". I love the books in this series and thought that I would use the next few blogs to address some of the comments that I find intriguing from this book. So far it's been a treat to read as is usually the case with these books.

The last way that 'precious' has made a cameo this week was via the show "The Big Bang Theory". This show has become a new guilty pleasure. I love the silliness and nerdiness of this show. On this week's program, the guys on the show found one of the rings used in the 'Lord of the Rings' movies. They are all very excited by this and all of them want to possess it. Finally, one of the characters does get the ring from the bet and ends up turning into Gollum. As he espouses 'my precious' to the ring in a scene, I realized the common thread working its way through my week.

There are few things that I would categorize as 'precious' but this week was a reminder of just how much 'precious' things appear in my life.

À la Française

Aujourd’hui j’ai decidé de relever un defi. J’ai un blog en anglais et il y a presque deux ans que je publie mes idées, mes ‘frustrations’ et mon actualité sur mon site. Ce blog me calme beaucoup parce que j’ai enormement de pensées et pas trop de personnes avec qui je peux partager mes idées.

Pourquoi est-ce que j’ai commencé à ecrire ce blog en premier lieu? C’était une methode pour communiquer avec mon amie Marni. Nous nous ecrivions toujours des lettres manuscrites mais quand nous sommes entrées en maitrise, nos lettres se sont despaces un peu. Donc le blog pour moi était une manière de pouvoir le ‘parler’ sans envoyer de letter directement.

Avec la progression de mon blog, il est devenu comme mon journal intime mais sans parler ouvertement de mes problèmes. Quelquefois j’ecris a propos de mes histoires au travail et d’autre fois mes soucis chez moi –avec mon mari. J’ecris vraiment discrètement parce que j’ai la satisfaction de exprimer et raconteur mes propres idées sans me placer dans des situations difficiles avec les autres.

Alors de temps en temps j’essaie de traduire quelques un de mes texts en français pour mes amis français. D’autre fois je ecrirai en francais directement. J’espère que je peux aussi ameliorer mon français avec cet exercice. Mais je crois que seule le temps me le dira.

In Sickness and In Health

When you are feeling under the weather, regardless of what you think you have, you should just stay home. Don’t be brave and go to work. No one will have pity for you. And if they do, they are retarded. I can’t feel pity for people who drag themselves to work when they feel sick. I just get annoyed with them because they are contagious.

What I find most perplexing about this behavior is that it’s usually the people who are germophobes, who drag their stinking, contaminated germs into work with them. The same people who won’t share food with others, who practically marinate in sanitizer, who run for the opposite coast if someone sneezes. Why would they think that other people would want to be surrounded by their germs when they themselves can’t stand them??

If you have stomach cramps, stay home. If you have a sniffle, stay home. If you have a sinus infection, stay home. I just don’t care…stay home if you aren’t feeling well! That’s what sick days are for! No matter how much Echinacea, vitamin D and C and how much water/tea I drink, the mere fact that you come into work exposes me like a nuclear meltdown. It’s really rude and inconsiderate (Does anyone else see a pattern to my blogs this week?) and since you are already incredibly selfish to come in, why not be even more selfish and just stay home?

Leading By Example

Imagine for a moment that you are a new employee and it is your first day at work. You are settling in and making sure all your computer access is set up and that your telephone works. Everything is fine and you start to work on your first task.

Everything is going smoothly and you are trying to case the joint so to speak. You notice at a point in the day that your boss seems to be talking to a colleague for an awful long time. You continue working and still see your boss talking to the co-worker. It doesn’t look work-related because neither person is looking at a computer screen. Nor does the casual nature of the conversation suggest that it’s about work. You decide to just mind your business and keep working on your deliverable. But it’s almost an hour that your boss and colleague have been chatting away.

You wonder if this is what it’s always like at work. Your new boss doesn’t do any work but chats all day long with colleagues. Hmmm??

Finally they take a break but later in the day, this same duo disappears for coffee for another half hour or so. You think that maybe this isn’t always the case but why would they do this when today is your first day on the job? What kind of example is this? Does that mean you can slack off and get away with doing nothing for almost two hours every day? It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Taking Up Space

I make no excuses that people’s behavior amazes me. It baffles me more than anything. The part that I find most perplexing is how absolutely inconsiderate people can be. I’m not saying I am the most gracious and wonderful person out there but I’m aware of when I could be a pain and could be overstepping my limits.

This morning at the gym, for instance, I was getting prepared to take a shower and get dressed in my work clothes. However, I couldn’t really do that because a woman was taking up the expanse of 5 lockers to get herself ready for work. Now I don’t have a problem asserting to the woman that she’s in my space. But what I found annoying is that she was taking up all this space without ever even considering (at least I’m not sure but if she had looked at the other lockers, she would have notice 4 locks on them meaning…hey four other people might be coming to use their lockers at any time) that others might need to get to their stuff in the first place.

I just don’t get it! I’ve found lately that people impose their rules, space, thoughts on others without ever wondering if it might be wrong to do so. It annoys the heck out of me.

I would never take up more space than necessary at the gym. I try to contain myself to the small one locker space that I’ve selected. If I need more space, then I will move to an area where it won’t disturb others. Why is that so hard for others to do? In moving myself out of other people’s ways, then the only person I put out is myself instead of 5 other people. I mean I understand that no one wants to create any discomfort for themselves, but really how much of a problem is it to just move yourself to a more convenient space so you don’t have to say ‘Sorry’ to others for hogging up their area? I really don’t think it’s that hard. But as I’ve said, people’s behavior flabbergasts me on a daily basis. And it just seems to get worse.

Cat Scratch Fever

Most people know I am a dog lover. Most dogs are affectionate, playful and social and that’s how I think of myself. Some cats can be that way as well but I find that most of them are distant and aloof. What’s funny though is that for all the love I have of dogs, I often find myself making cat noises for various situations I encounter.

For instance, my friends and I make cat noises whenever we see or think someone is handsome. So, we’ll often say ‘Meow, MEOW!’ Back in my college days, a good friend and I referred to someone as “SuperMeow!” – he was just that good looking. And depending on how attractive someone is, the meow is in proportion to their attractiveness.

Another time I use the cat noise is when I am frustrated and want to seriously hurt someone. Hence I use it at work a lot with my colleague. We often use our cat senses to put together the most appropriate meow for the day. It sometimes sounds like a cat rescue at work with all the cat noises.

The funny part of all this is that I occasionally will make a meow for husband and he thinks it’s odd. He’s often asked me “Why do you make cat noises if you aren’t a cat person?” So, I tell him that dog noises just don’t work as well.

Mainly, what I’m saying is that the animal world can provide many outlets to vent frustrations and thoughts.

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

The Lenten period suggests that you make a sacrifice to try to emulate the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for us when he was crucified for our sins and died. Every year I try to give up something that is hard for me. Last year I gave up cakes, cookies, pastries etc. This year I am doing the same as well as going to the gym every day for 40 days.

It’s difficult in a stressful job to not want to eat a whole bag of Oreos. It’s even harder in this situation to get yourself out of bed every morning to get on stationary bike when you’d rather be sleeping. After all cuddly playful puppies are hard to leave for a cold hard steel machine. But it has to be done! It builds character.

You know what else builds character – walking buy a dozen donuts at work! Yesterday my boss bought in a bunch of donuts to welcome our new colleague. I can’t tell you how many times I passed by this box during the day. Each and every time the vanilla frosted donut waved at me. Occasionally after its salute, it would prop itself in the corner of the box and say ‘You know you want me!’ How rude! As if the donut wasn’t mean enough with this behavior, the sprinkles began to sing and dance to me as well. I faintly think they were singing Barry White’s ‘Can’t Get Enough of Your Love’ to me. As the day got longer, the singing got louder. When did sprinkles learn to dance and sing? How does a donut know that I want it so much? Did the need for the donut show on my face?

Finally, someone hid the donuts so I wasn’t encountering this love song. But how dare people do this stuff when you are trying to be good! And damn you, donuts! Blast you to hell, I say!

Proceed with Caution

Relationships with in-laws –oh they are the things of nightmares. I don’t think any other kind of relationship creates as many potential ulcers as the extraordinarily light and fluffy contact with in-laws.

I do admit that I’m lucky in the sense that I like my in-laws but even then, it’s not easy. Regardless of how well you get along with them, and how much they agree with you, they will NEVER ever take your side over their child’s side- even if the child is acting like a total loser and an idiot.

Let me rephrase that – they will agree with you about their child’s idiocy and be upset about the way they are acting. But at some point, no matter what the situation is, you will be completely aware that you are still an in-law and not their flesh and blood.

Regardless of when this epiphany happens, it never feels good. Even if you have been repeating the mantra ‘you are not their kid’ to yourself for years, nothing prepares you for the disappointment and sadness of when they finally let you know that you don’t ‘count’.

My husband has been having to deal with this for quite some time. And recently I had a taste of this as well. Although I probably will get over it faster because I’m stubborn, it sure as heck doesn’t feel good. With these types of relationships, the only advice I can give to anyone, including myself, is to proceed with caution.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Sometimes no matter what you say to people or how much you try to inform them that they are not at fault for certain things, they will believe whatever they want to believe. You can send emails, notes, letters telling them they are not the culprit. Ultimately, you just have to move on and hope they will come around.

But as you move on, you will think about them a lot. You will replay every conversation and event with that person over in your head a million times. You will rethink and revisualize a different path for those talks but it won’t do anything.

I truly wish there were a way to not have these things happen at all. But you just have to accept it and pray, pray, those friends will come back to you soon. In the interim, you just miss them a lot.