Monday, November 30, 2009

Deja Vu

Different moments in your life play out as if you are experiencing déjà vu. Two instances that are similar enough to seem like you are repeating a pattern or are the exact same in some particular way, yet completely different.

Twice this year I saw the world happening around me pass diagonally in front of my eyes. By diagonally I mean as I fell at an angle to the floor, everything moved by in a range of degrees swiftly from 90 to 0. This particular perspective happened so fast that it was impossible to even stop or cushion the incidents from happening. Yet, when they were completed some of the actions were a carbon copy.

- People circling in to help me
- The question ‘Are you ok?’ being uttered
- The embarrassment of not being able to see a step in front of my eyes
- The frustration moments later of a new injury to my already bruised and scarred body.

Earlier this year, I took a fall before meeting a friend for lunch and I broke my elbow and sprained my wrist. This event had already marked 2009 as a banner year. And yesterday morning I fell again getting off a sidewalk to try to step onto a bus that was going to bring myself, my husband and other to the airport.

I’m certain that I sprained my ankle due to the new second ankle that has seemed to grow on top of my existing angle. I’ve scraped my knee as well. This will serve as a culminating reminder to an otherwise lovely vacation.

These similar moment will be etched into my memory for years to come and will replay themselves if I should ever find myself being clumsy again.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Language Barriers

As some of you know, my husband’s (also known as The Mexican) mother tongue is Spanish. He speaks English pretty darn well but on occasion, we have some interesting examples of miscommunication.

A couple of weeks ago as I was getting ready for work and it was a bit colder than normal.

“Bungle up! It’s chilly outside.”

Yes, he said ‘bungle up’. Despite my correcting him a million times on how he should be saying bundle up, he claims that I don’t know English very well. I’ve also explained that this way of expressing himself is suggesting that getting prepared for the cold makes people clumsy. Yet, there is no chance in a cold hell that he will ever fix this mistake in his verbal dictionary of idioms and phrases.

Another one, which oddly has to do with weather, too, is the popular ‘wind chill factor’ component of temperature in the middle of winter. Often a range of temperatures is given for a cold winter day but an additional feature is mention about what it feels like if there is wind in the forecast. That is known as the wind chill factor. So it could be 20-25 degrees but the wind chill factor will make it seem like it’s perhaps 10-15 degrees. This assists in planning how you will get dressed or just give the awareness of how it really feels like to be outside. Oh but this is not how my husband explains this phenomena. He calls it the ‘wind shield factor’. I’m not sure when he created this new phenomena but it’s obviously what he thought they said. No matter how many times I tell him it’s wind chill factor, he insists that I have a chunk of wax in my ear that blocks my ability to hear what the meteorologists are really saying.

So I’ve stopped correcting him. I just make fun of him about it. And I tell everyone in the hope that maybe one day some one will have a nervous breakdown on his misuse of these common phrases and will make him change his ways. I’m pretty sure that won’t happen but at least now you will know that you didn’t hear my husband incorrectly. He did say ‘bungle up’ and ‘wind shield factor’.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

#1

Almost every Friday I rush home to check my mail. Please, please!! Be there! YES!!! I sit down for a good 20 minutes and devour my Entertainment Weekly with a Cheshire cat smile on my face. Ahh! Such a great feeling.

I’m not entirely sure why I love this magazine so. Perhaps it’s the funny bits of information about celebrities and shows that reminds me of something I would write. Or perhaps it’s how it encapsulates all the important entertainment bits of the week in something only 100 pages long. I just don’t know. But be warned, you should never interrupt my weekly (except for those double issues randomly interspersed) reading.

A couple of years ago, I flipped my lid a bit and realized that my copy was coming every Monday instead of the Friday prior as it had usually arrived. I began to wonder if my mailman wasn’t stealing my copy every Friday and reading it and then returning it on Monday. I’m that obsessed!! I never got to the bottom of that mystery. However, truth be told, mess with my Entertainment Weekly and you mess with me!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Scandalous Headlines

“THEFT!! Sweaty, stinky new sports bra, only used once, stolen!”
It’s a headline you could see on any daily news paper. Or is it? Probably more fitting of some spin off of the National Enquirer. Regardless, it happened and that’s what we need to discuss.

My co-worker told me the other day how she had gone to the gym as part of her usual routine. The details of her workout are unimportant. What is pertinent is that after showering and changing and leaving the gym, she later realized that she had left her sports bra at the gym.

The next day she went to see if anyone had reported a missing sports bra. Sadly, and this really is sad, no one had turned it in. Someone had stolen a worn and used sports bra. Perhaps someone threw it out. Regardless, didn’t anyone think that someone would miss the stench-ridden, sporty, breast-confining exercise necessity?

After my recent postings at the gym, it’s a wonder that I continue to go. But could this be the last straw? Nah. Probably not, but I’m beginning to wonder if there isn’t some crazy stalker who took my co-worker’s sports bra out there. Hmmmm. Something to ponder. Something to ponder. I guess the bigger question is: what is this world coming to when even your stinky sports bras aren’t safe from theft?

Out of Habit

The other day I went to get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. The usual 6 month check up. My teeth felt clean and wonderful and sparkling. I left the office rolling my tongue along my teeth and feeling the smooth surface of my pearly beiges (I just can't claim to have pearly whites and you'll shortly see why). It was great.

Prancing down the block to make it to another appointment, what should I see but STARBUCKS! My second home! I practically dove into the locale and purchased my caramel macchiato with glee. I chugged it down and let out a happy ‘ahhh!’ as if it were the first cup of coffee I’d had since the arabica been was found.

Instantaneously, I became upset because I realized that I had just had my teeth cleaned. Nice and white but only for a few seconds. Addictions are bad….remember that, my friends.

The Importance of Being Learned

I am one of the biggest proponents to getting a college degree and having an education. It’s important to making a life for yourself before ever getting involved in a relationship. I’m probably crazy for that but it seems I am not the only one.

Last night I saw ‘An Education’ by Lone Scherfig. I was delighted to see such a wonderful story that encourages young people to pursue and complete their academic interests.

The movie is set in 1961 so the priorities of young women were a bit different than they are today. Jenny is encouraged by her parents to pursue academic excellence and to apply to Oxford University. Jenny has a great understanding and love of English literature and she intends to continue that love in college.

Along the way life happens and her priorities sway a bit. Ultimately though, she comes back to her starting point – she needs to go to Oxford. I highly recommend this movie. I feel like I might pass the movie along to future generations too.