Tuesday, April 2, 2013

GP(api)S

My dad had a great sense of direction. Having driven for so many years in Italy, Canada and in New York, he had a terrific instinct for when he was heading the wrong way. He had internal GPS before Garmin or any of those other companies did.

Despite this fact he wasn’t the most patient driving teacher or passenger. He taught both my sister and brother how to drive. He attempted to do so with me but after a few occasions of grabbing the steering wheel and taking control from the passenger seat, I told him that he was making me nervous. He told me to get driving lessons from a school then and to pay for it myself. Oh well.

After finally getting my driving license, having him in the car was trying. He would tell me how to get places by saying “Follow that red car” (substitute any color car you want, it was always the same). I’d look out onto the road and see 10 red cars. I’d ask him which one and he’d say ‘the one on the right’. Of course, there were 4 red cars on the right. This would result in a dispute of my asking him to be more specific. To which he’d get upset and then we’d end up missing the exit. Or the times when he’d tell me to prepare to make the exit. I’d approach the nearing exit and he’d say ‘not this one’. I’d look ahead but wouldn’t notice another exit but over on the right, a small, service exit would pass us. Then I’d hear a grumble and an ‘ugh’ because he was trying to teach me a short cut.

As my driving experience grew, he became more comfortable with my driving. We found a way to compromise. I asked him to tell me all the directions ahead of time, with visual markers. This made us both calmer and relaxed. The trips became easier to the point that my dad would fall asleep while I drove. This was the ultimate example of his trust in my driving. Sadly, one time he was snoozing and we had an accident. My first instinct wasn’t to save myself but to save him because I was afraid the shock would give him a heart attack. Even though he had his seat belt on, I put my hand out to hold him back. In doing so I braced myself and injured my knee but at least he was fine.

After the accident I insisted that I drive home even though I was shaken up. He said “Good! That’s what you should do. Get back behind the wheel!” Even though he had been sleeping, he blamed the whole accident on the other driver. It was very sweet although there was no basis in his opinion except that he thought I was a good driver and based on how the marks in the street were plotted.

I remember so many arguments and fights in the car with my dad. I was reminded of them all this past weekend when we went to visit a family member. I thought about all those debates fondly because it was such a familiar event whenever I was driving the car. At the time he drove me absolutely insane but I’d rather have those moments now than not.

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