I have spent a lot of my life waiting in line. As a girl in an Italian family, I was never as important as the boy. Even then, I was the last girl so there wasn’t still another line to wait in.
Despite all this, I did what I needed to do for myself - to do the right thing without hurting others. I studied hard because I liked it but also because I felt it was the way to move forward. I worked hard because I knew things wouldn’t just be handed to me. And I went after what I wanted with determination; knowing that the only obstacle that could get in the way of my desire was my own mind.
Lately though, all these lessons that I learned about myself have been up for re-evaluation. I thought that if I did well at work and consistently performed, I would be promoted. I understood that if I saved money for my employer, I would be compensated with a raise. I believed that if I loved people a lot, they would somehow see me in the same light – I would be their priority. I knew that if I wanted something bad enough, it could happen despite what doctors said.
But everything I thought has been thrown into the garbage. I didn’t get promoted, I didn’t get a raise and I lost the thing I wanted most with no idea how it happened. These things are fine and I can and will deal with them to the best of my ability.
Do I continue to just deal with doing the right thing? Or do I just give up?