A Time to Tease

We may use “teasing” to refer to the affectionate banter of middle-school friends, to the offensive passes of impulsive bosses and to the language of heart-palpitating flirtation, to humiliation that scars psyches (harsh teasing about obesity can damage a child’s sense of self for years) and to the repartee that creates a peaceful space between siblings.


I found this article in today's New York Times. The article discusses teasing and the importance of it. Overall, this is a fantastic article because it explains how we've lost this practice of teasing and how it actually evolved. I picked this out because I love to tease people....but at the same time I have a very strong awareness of when teasing crosses over into meanness. The author states that there is an important developmental step that we are missing by not teasing others becuase we are so super 'pc'.

For instance, my sister and I practically only communicate by teasing each other. Part of the fun of talking to my sister is to 'one up' her with some silly nickname. And she can really throw punches better than any one else I know. But if you looked at her, you wouldn't expect that because she's actually quite shy.

This article also made me think of my friendships. I often tease my friends and they tease me back and we have a wonderful rapport by doing this. Through teasing we are unconsciously communicating our real feelings, which is another reason why this article is interesting. The mother in the article makes a very potent diagnosis based on what she knows about teasing. Usually boys tease the girls they like the most and vice versa and that's sweet.

However, there are some people who have no idea how to tease at all. They think they are teasing but they really mean harm. I'm thinking of a certain tease that I get from a person who shall remain nameless. The tease is 'knuckle head' and everyone knows that people who are knuckle heads aren't the brightest bulbs. So I get very annoyed by this person when they call me that which is why I call the person 'fatty'. I know, it's not very mature. But this person doesn't seem to understand that calling someone a knucklehead is not a nice thing. They defend themselves by saying 'I'm only joking'. But are they really? I don't think so.

I feel sorry for people who don't know how to tease people because they are missing out on the closeness that comes from that silly behavior.