Loss of Appetite

I decided to treat myself to a quiet book reading lunch by myself today. Sometimes there just isn’t any better to way to ease into the week than to schedule some ‘me’ time. I went to a local restaurant, book in hand, sat down and flipped to the page I was last reading. 

And that’s about as far as I got. Unfortunately I went to lunch a tad later than I normally would have and the place was crowded. Even though I was eating alone, I was really eating with the tables beside me as well. To one side was a duo of younger people who might as well have been texting each other through the whole meal because they spent that much time on their cell phones. They might have even been texting each other, I’m not entirely sure. Then their food arrived and the proceeded to chew with their mouths open. The lip smacking and noodle slurping made me want to run my nails down a chalkboard. It really wouldn’t have been as painful as this cacophonous chomping. Dear Almighty Being, why does this always happen to me. 

I tried to focus on the book. It was, after all, quite funny. Then the other table started in with their laughing and complaining about their co-workers. As much as I tried not to eavesdrop, it was impossible. My soup arrived and I tried to focus on that but ‘chomp chomp’ was all I heard on one end. I put my book in front of my face to cover what looked like a pride of lions attacking a gazelle on National Geographic. Actually the lions might have been less noisy. I’ve never see people or animals slobber over food like that in my life! 

The book boomeranged the chomping noises away but let the other ear open to the table on the side. They kept laughing and being mean. I called my waiter over and asked him to pack up my lunch. He asked if something was wrong. I said ‘I suddenly lost my appetite’. I explained that it might come back a little later and I didn’t want to waste the food. I requested the food and check at the same time so that when they arrived, I paid and picked up my stuff and left. 

So much for a relaxing lunch! Sadly, it was much tastier at my desk than I ever imagined. I guess I learned my lesson, best to eat lunch before the crowds arrive so I can enjoy both my book and my meal.

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I am a big believer of the adage ‘if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.’ I admit that I don’t always follow this rule.  For the majority of the cases, I find it’s easier to just keep my mouth closed than deal with the trouble of voicing the comments scrolling through my brain. Most of the time the thoughts in my brain are not so nice so it’s why it’s best for me to restrain and contain myself. 

Not everyone believes the same things I do. I often find that people say whatever comes to their mind and they don’t filter in any way. This pisses me off because when people do this, what they say is usually incredibly offensive and I’d like to put them in their place. But as I said, I find it doesn’t help things if you have nothing nice to say. So I keep my mouth shut. 

A couple of weeks ago as I walked out of my local Starbucks after getting my morning fix, a woman said to me “What were you due yesterday?” – referring to my pregnant stomach. I was going to let it go. I kept telling myself to just let it be. But it really got to me so I said “Why the hell is it your problem?”  She closed her mouth shut and turned her head away from me.

 I felt excellent! Sometimes there just isn’t anything as satisfying as making someone else close their mouth. I know she didn’t expect me to say anything. Normally I wouldn’t have uttered a single syllable. But I felt compelled to give my opinion – call it pregnancy hormones or whatever. I swear that I was practically skipping all the way to the subway. I know it’s bad of me to gloat but I can’t help it. 

Every so often I still see this woman around and she hasn’t said a word to me and she better not. I seriously cannot be held responsible for the next doozy that comes out of my mouth if she does say something. Just goes to show you, there is definitely a lot of value in holding your tongue but there are moments when it’s important to speak your mind. It’s just a question of which battles you are willing to fight.