The Micro-manager

People I have worked with have always found it amazing that I have dealt so well with micro-managers in my career. It takes a lot of patience and the ability to hold your tongue as much as humanly possible. Honestly I am happy to have avoided them in the past few years. Every so often I am reminded of how difficult it is to work for those kinds of people because I am the daughter of one of the best.

My mom is a control freak. She will never admit it. I know why she is but it was very hard growing up around her. No matter what I did; I had to answer a thousand questions about what I was doing, thinking, saying. I became accustomed to that kind of detailed questioning because of it – this is how I excelled with work managers. 

For instance, when I had to plan my baby’s baptism, it was a barrage of questions and things I had to do. Once I did them, I had to report back to her on their progress/status. And if I forgot something, I would have to hear the comments. She would say stuff like “I thought you would remember to do that!” With someone reminding you of the million things you have to do, it’s pretty easy to let something slip or to forget something. But no! That is not allowed. 

When my friends were planning my baby shower, I felt bad for them. My mom wanted to pay for the event but in doing so she wanted everything done her way. That’s really hard to do when other people want to plan the event. As much as I wanted to be uninvolved, it was impossible. My mom was always checking in with me on the status of things.  I would have to tell her “Mom, why would I know? I’m not planning the event?” Regardless, she expected me to know. I think that my friends could finally understand where I got my efficient and responsible nature. I’m sure they also pitied me to some degree.

The one good thing about my micro’mom’ager is that I learned to not be as anxious about projects as she is. I think you can still follow up with people without driving them insane. Part of how you manage a micro-manager is to constantly barrage them back with statuses so they quasi leave you alone. I am more about calm confidence than antsy anxiety. In a roundabout way, I thank her for pestering me about everything. I hope I am not the same way with my daughter. Although my husband says that I do this to him. Well…let’s just leave it at, I’m working on fixing this personality trait.