Medicine Mom

Moms love to give advice; there’s no doubt about that. Sometimes it’s great advice and sometimes, you just have to laugh at what they say.

My mom means well when she gives me her advice but there are times where I just have to turn away and pretend that I didn’t hear what she said. With all my back problems this year, she told me that if I would just wear a girdle all my troubles would be over. Now as much as I’ve been looking into quick fixes to ease my pain, this one certainly never crossed my mind. The only girdle that could help me would be one that was heated and would give my back electrical stimulation. I haven’t seen any infomercials with those benefits yet! My mom is obsessed with girdles (cross reference blog entry Control Top for more on my mom with her girdles-- http://stratforduponangie.blogspot.com/2010/04/control-top.html). She thinks they can help me lose weight, grow a couple more inches, cure world hunger, etc. I’m not sure how something so constricting could be so helpful but my mom thinks the world of them.

Ocean water is another of my mom’s cure alls. She thinks that going into the ocean can cure cuts, bruises, sprains, repair broken bones, cures infertility, and shines silver as well. It’s the ginsu knife of panaceas. Who would have known?

I won’t deny that when I went to the Dead Sea I definitely experienced some healing of skin issues I’d been having. But that’s the Dead Sea; that is what it’s known for. But the oceans on the east coast with all the filthy detritus, why would I step into that to cure anything? Not to mention that if I were going to try to cure something, I’d probably be bitten by a shark. That’s just the kind of luck I have.

Thanks mom but I’ll have to pass yet again on your girdle cure and on the ocean salvation.