Honesty...Best Policy?

Many parents teach their children to be honest and it’s a great lesson. As you get older though, that lesson’s theory becomes quite different in practice. I am a firm believer in being honest but there are times when I’m not so sure if my instinct to do so is such a good idea.

For instance, because I’m a big believe in Murphy’s law, I don’t like to tell the complete truth if I think that it might bring about bad luck. For instance, a friend of mine was interviewing for a position different than the one she was already occupying and she asked my advice. She wondered if she should tell her current boss that she was interviewing. My advice to her was ‘No’. Now some people would say that’s dishonest but I would say it’s better to be cautious. Since you can never tell how a person is going to react when you tell them the truth, it’s sometimes better to just avoid telling them for a while. I know, I’m horrible. But in this instance, what if my friend’s boss got upset that she was interviewing? She could begin to make her current work life a million times more horrible than it already was. Or, what if she didn’t get the job that she was interviewing for and her boss now knew she was interviewing, then the boss might get upset that she was looking to leave and make her current work life a billion times worse than it already was. Plus, by going out there and saying she was interviewing seemed silly if there wasn’t a job offer yet. Don’t count your eggs before they hatch type of deal, you know??

I’m a big believer in treating others as I’d like to be treated. So if one of my employees were to tell me they were interviewing, I don’t think I’d get upset. I might want to know why or how I had failed them as a manager, but I don’t think I would become vindictive. But the problem is that you never know how others will act.

Let’s take an example from the past when I’ve been honest. Long ago I told someone my true feelings for them and they seemed happy with the news at first. But after some time, the person began to be someone other than who I thought they were. And that’s fine and I could say that I finally learned what the person was really like by being honest. But I certainly would have enjoyed not feeling like a big ball of confused poop for that time when they were deciding how to deal with my news.

Basically, being honest in every single action isn’t as easy as the advice to be that way is. Overall, I think it is best to be honest but the fact is that I can’t expect that everyone around me will be as open to honesty and be as mature with the information as I think I am. And that my friend is part of the honesty is the best policy talk that I think every parent and person should pass along.