Paying homage yet again to my pal Marni, I’ve decided to compile my own list of favorite things. I’ll intersperse them throughout my other fascinatingly intriguing blog.
So item number 1 is: Godiva Chocolates
Oh how I love this blessed, blessed store! Now, I’m not insanely in need of chocolate on a daily basis but I do love myself a good hearty piece every so often. Usually I pick from the almond laden chocolates. Lately however, I’ve taken a liking to the dark chocolate marzipan hearts. I stare at them through the glass case hoping to mesmerize them so they will just follow me home instead of having to fork over a chunk of change for them. But alas, regardless of how I acquire them, I drool whenever I see them and even more so when I pop one in my mouth.
Another morsel I’ve grown to like is the Mandarin Snowflake. This is quite a change of pace for me because I am not a fan of white chocolate. But oh how I like to squeeze this little nugget between my incisors and nibble away.
So, now that you think I’m a glutton, I say FOOEY to you. I know you all enjoy a good piece of chocolate too.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Idiot Box
A couple of weeks ago, I read the horrible news that two of my recent favorite shows were canned. This frustrated me to no end because both shows were clever and thought-provoking - something that’s becoming harder and harder to find on television. Whenever I turn the television on now, I see more vapid reality shows full of personalities/people that are so ridiculously selfish and petty. So, in watching those, I’m forced to watch the same behavior that I see everyday in the real world. Entertainment should be an escape sometimes. It should not reinforce the quotidian disgusting behavior that emanates in this world.
So good bye ‘Pushing Daisies’ and the wonderful black sense of humor that has made me giggle for the passed 20 odd episodes. I’ll miss the romance and romantic tension that you bring to the small screen in the disguise of solving mysteries. The eccentric interludes of singing that are pulsed through the occasional episode. To a wonderfully talented cast that will be disbursed to other shows that will probably also get cancelled.
And the other show I love is similar in that the talented cast gets to sing and dance and amuse me (and other viewers, of course) during every episode. Ahhhh ‘Eli Stone’, how I love the idea that you could be a prophet in this day and age? Yet, you couldn’t foresee the future of crappy television to save yourself.
It’s just not fair! I’m tired of giving my time and attention to shows that just don’t get picked up. Just like radio stations with too much talk and not enough music, tv has become a boring abyss of stinking reality shows. Why should writers even bother to work their magic for such an unforgiving media?
Oh well….another sad day in the entertainment industry
So good bye ‘Pushing Daisies’ and the wonderful black sense of humor that has made me giggle for the passed 20 odd episodes. I’ll miss the romance and romantic tension that you bring to the small screen in the disguise of solving mysteries. The eccentric interludes of singing that are pulsed through the occasional episode. To a wonderfully talented cast that will be disbursed to other shows that will probably also get cancelled.
And the other show I love is similar in that the talented cast gets to sing and dance and amuse me (and other viewers, of course) during every episode. Ahhhh ‘Eli Stone’, how I love the idea that you could be a prophet in this day and age? Yet, you couldn’t foresee the future of crappy television to save yourself.
It’s just not fair! I’m tired of giving my time and attention to shows that just don’t get picked up. Just like radio stations with too much talk and not enough music, tv has become a boring abyss of stinking reality shows. Why should writers even bother to work their magic for such an unforgiving media?
Oh well….another sad day in the entertainment industry
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Pins and Needles #1
There is a bit of an adventurer in me. You probably wouldn't be able to understand that by looking at me but I will try almost anything at least one time. I enjoy exploring new foods and new experiences.
She started by putting heated paddles on my back and massaged them around and in certain spots, the heat was a little unbearable. Being on my stomach, I couldn't see that the practitioner had a machine that sent back a reading of where the heat spots were strongest. Once she completed this the poking began and honestly, I didn't feel a thing. She told me she would be leaving the needles in my back for 30 minutes and would return. I'd probably fall asleep and that was a good thing, I shouldn't resist.
The rest of the day, I spent in a semi-coma. I was so sleepy and tired. When the clock struck 8, I made my way to bed to watch some tv and at 6am the next morning, the darn alarm clock went on...I have never slept better in my life.
I've always wanted to try acupuncture although the idea of having a needle sticking out of my body is a little disconcerting. I'm a big fan of acupressure and reflexology and massage in general. I think that the human touch can help a lot of what ails a person. So due to the fact that these needles are not human, I was skeptical about trying it. However, recently due to some issues that have gotten increasingly unmanageable, I was told to give it a try.
The first session was pretty interesting... the acupuncturist asked me a number of questions about what ailed me and what I ate and other medical history questions. I proceeded to put on my best Garden of Eden impression and waited for the practitioner to begin.
She started by putting heated paddles on my back and massaged them around and in certain spots, the heat was a little unbearable. Being on my stomach, I couldn't see that the practitioner had a machine that sent back a reading of where the heat spots were strongest. Once she completed this the poking began and honestly, I didn't feel a thing. She told me she would be leaving the needles in my back for 30 minutes and would return. I'd probably fall asleep and that was a good thing, I shouldn't resist.
By the time she came back, I was fast asleep and very relaxed. She proceeded to take the needles out and then massaged some strong smelling oil on my back. After this she did some meridien scratchings, as she called them and then scraped my head as well. The head scraping I could have done without but everything else was quite nice.
The rest of the day, I spent in a semi-coma. I was so sleepy and tired. When the clock struck 8, I made my way to bed to watch some tv and at 6am the next morning, the darn alarm clock went on...I have never slept better in my life.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Books and Marriage
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/books/review/Donadio-t.html?scp=1&sq=It%27s+Not+You%2C+It%27s+Your+Books&st=nyt
Recently the New York Times prompted a series of thoughts that became incredibly telling of my marriage. The article appeared in the Sunday Book Review, one of the 4 sections of the NY Times that I religiously read every week. It discussed how the trajectory of a relationship can be plotted based on the books that the individuals in the relationship have read. I couldn’t agree more. I can tell a lot about a person based on their favorite author or book. It certainly happened to me with my husband.
As the article states, men just don’t read as much fiction as women. I’m not sure why this happens but at least I wasn’t just theorizing into oblivion as I am wont to do. So if a man reads at all, you have to wonder what his favorite says about him.
My husband, like most men, doesn’t read much. When our cable service got turned off a couple of years ago, he had an existential crisis. What was he going to do with all the time he gained from not vegetating in front of the tv? He was going to take up a hobby. I kept suggesting he read a book because that’s what I was looking forward to without the damn tv distraction. But no, he wallowed in his boredom and decided he needed to fix things that were not broken. Somehow he made it out alive from the land whence the cable no longer worketh. I was disappointed that the cable hiatus wasn’t longer. Oh well.
On a very rare occasion, my husband actually does read. I’ve caught him reading on vacation and I even took pictures because I wasn’t sure I’d ever see it again. I’ve framed it too since I thought it was money well spent. And when I ask him what his favorite book is he says “A Thousand Years of Solitude”. Intrigued by this propaganda, I finally read the book for the first time last year. I can’t say I was in the right frame of mind to appreciate the book. But it certainly did give light to the person my husband is.
Marquez is often associated with Magic Realism and that describes my husband to a tee. His reality is closer to the land of Harry Houdini than to the everyday that I face. Also, Marquez uses a lot of flowery language and speaks in metaphors without getting to the point. This is exactly what my husband does. A lot of people say it’s because English is not his native language so he doesn’t know how to express himself. I don’t think it’s that at all. I think it’s that he talks in circles without ever getting to the point and unless I’m speaking Marquezisms or Memoisms, no one can understand a single damn word he’s saying. My ‘Thousand Days of Pain’, as I called this exercise, showed me where my husband’s circuitous language was created. It’s cultural. (Granted, my penchant for exaggeration and sarcasm comes from my Italian background but we aren’t talking about me, we are talking about him.) And if I knew then what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have made it this so far in our relationship….Forgive me Marquez for not entirely loving your work but maybe it’s cultural for me too.
However, if it’s any consolation, I did get even in my own cultural way. I made him watch ‘MacBeth’. I adore the Bard because I find his characters and the psychology behind them so mesmerizing. But my husband doesn’t understand him…so how do I get even? I make him sit through a 3 hour production while I take joy in the pain he’s going through trying to understand what the actors are saying. I even caught him nodding off…I wonder if he had any clue what I was trying to do - probably not because my method was very direct and he’s all about the flowery indirect language.
Recently the New York Times prompted a series of thoughts that became incredibly telling of my marriage. The article appeared in the Sunday Book Review, one of the 4 sections of the NY Times that I religiously read every week. It discussed how the trajectory of a relationship can be plotted based on the books that the individuals in the relationship have read. I couldn’t agree more. I can tell a lot about a person based on their favorite author or book. It certainly happened to me with my husband.
As the article states, men just don’t read as much fiction as women. I’m not sure why this happens but at least I wasn’t just theorizing into oblivion as I am wont to do. So if a man reads at all, you have to wonder what his favorite says about him.
My husband, like most men, doesn’t read much. When our cable service got turned off a couple of years ago, he had an existential crisis. What was he going to do with all the time he gained from not vegetating in front of the tv? He was going to take up a hobby. I kept suggesting he read a book because that’s what I was looking forward to without the damn tv distraction. But no, he wallowed in his boredom and decided he needed to fix things that were not broken. Somehow he made it out alive from the land whence the cable no longer worketh. I was disappointed that the cable hiatus wasn’t longer. Oh well.
On a very rare occasion, my husband actually does read. I’ve caught him reading on vacation and I even took pictures because I wasn’t sure I’d ever see it again. I’ve framed it too since I thought it was money well spent. And when I ask him what his favorite book is he says “A Thousand Years of Solitude”. Intrigued by this propaganda, I finally read the book for the first time last year. I can’t say I was in the right frame of mind to appreciate the book. But it certainly did give light to the person my husband is.
Marquez is often associated with Magic Realism and that describes my husband to a tee. His reality is closer to the land of Harry Houdini than to the everyday that I face. Also, Marquez uses a lot of flowery language and speaks in metaphors without getting to the point. This is exactly what my husband does. A lot of people say it’s because English is not his native language so he doesn’t know how to express himself. I don’t think it’s that at all. I think it’s that he talks in circles without ever getting to the point and unless I’m speaking Marquezisms or Memoisms, no one can understand a single damn word he’s saying. My ‘Thousand Days of Pain’, as I called this exercise, showed me where my husband’s circuitous language was created. It’s cultural. (Granted, my penchant for exaggeration and sarcasm comes from my Italian background but we aren’t talking about me, we are talking about him.) And if I knew then what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have made it this so far in our relationship….Forgive me Marquez for not entirely loving your work but maybe it’s cultural for me too.
However, if it’s any consolation, I did get even in my own cultural way. I made him watch ‘MacBeth’. I adore the Bard because I find his characters and the psychology behind them so mesmerizing. But my husband doesn’t understand him…so how do I get even? I make him sit through a 3 hour production while I take joy in the pain he’s going through trying to understand what the actors are saying. I even caught him nodding off…I wonder if he had any clue what I was trying to do - probably not because my method was very direct and he’s all about the flowery indirect language.
Workplace Traditions
People say that it doesn’t matter where you work; the people you work with are the same. This doesn’t mean that there are a million clones of the same people all over the world. It means that there are certain types of people that you can locate at all jobs, all over this wonderful Earth of ours.
Here are some of the types that I’ve identified:
1) The Kiss A$$ – oh we all know this person much too well. This is the person who agrees with everything the big boss says even if it’s the stupidest, most illogical thing to ever be spoken. This person has no backbone to stand up to the boss. And this person is almost always on every list for a promotion. Inevitably, they always get the promotions leaving the rest of the department scratching their heads with confusion. This person is usually incredibly dumb but politically office savvy. Most likely, they went to Business School.
2) The Workaholic – the person who never gets up from their desk to go to the bathroom. Who is in the office before everyone else and who is there until the rooster crows the next morning. This person then goes out to get a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks and returns to work another 48 hour day. Everyone knows this person has no life and that’s why they are there all the time. These people also tend to be in a high position and think that everyone under them should conform to the same insane work schedule they are on. However, there isn’t enough Starbucks coffee in the whole world to justify this kind of work schedule for any one. The workaholic usually isn’t as efficient or productive as they like to think they are. Everyone, but the workaholic, knows this.
3) The Work Garbage Dump – this person is not a workaholic but does all the work for the whole department and never gets any credit for their efficiency. If these people didn’t exist in the workplace, absolutely no work would get done at all. This person never gets promoted and this person always gets treated poorly by senior management because they think abusing the worker will make them stay there longer. (Yes, I don’t understand the psychology behind this either.) This person mainly has a strong work ethic and is living from paycheck to paycheck. This person is also secretly always on the phone with recruiters scooping out other offerings. When this person leaves the company, all mistakes are later blamed on them.
4) The Positive Spinner – this person knows deep inside that workplace politics are a pain in the tukhis but they spin everything in a positive light. When more work comes your way, they say ‘This is your chance to develop your skills and put it on your resume’. This person also claims that the boss’ picking on you is ‘A way of making you stronger as a person.’ Most of the time this person thinks they are sincere but to everyone else they come off as a complete phony.
Actually, I have some theories of how these individuals came to be. Work types 1, 2 and 4 are products of the work world. They are not born this way but are created. People can see the inherent glimpses of these types as early as pre-school but were they born that way? I think not, but I suppose it’s debatable. Work type #1 is usually the teacher’s pet in school. No matter what they do, they get away with murder. However, in the school world the teacher’s pet can either be the very smart kid who has all the answers or the wise ass, who provides the teacher with a much-needed laugh. However, in the business world, the latter is the one that manifests itself. As soon as this type is identified, it is best to stay far away from them. Any chance they get, they will stab anyone in the back in order to be seen in the bright shining broadway vision of the big boss.
Work type #2 is the kid who never wanted to go home from school. They were trying to avoid something going on at home, arguing parents, lack of attention etc. This person is still trying to hide something in their adulthood. Usually they are hiding the fact that their relationship with a significant other is on the rocks. Or they are hiding the fact that they are terribly annoying people that no sane person in the world would want to be near. So, they obtain gratification by working a lot in hopes that this will seem ambitious in the eyes of higher ups.
Work type #4 is a crafty character in some ways. These are the kids in school who can blend in with any clique and crowd - the chameleons. As they’ve grown up, they have used this facile shift of appearance and personality to their advantage. These are the epitome of spies. They bring information from one camp to another and in doing so have learned the ways to manipulate this information to their own advantage. Mainly I say tread with caution around these types as well. However, if you can surmise this type early on, you can use it to your advantage by gaining information, except that you don’t squeal the information between groups.
As I mentioned earlier, work type #3 is perhaps born that way. They are the kids who do thing by the book, follow rules (despite secretly hating them and all authority impositions) and they get things done. Sometimes they do this because they like to make people happy, sometimes it’s to get into the good graces of others. Sometimes they are just a degree or two lower on the workaholic scale than type #2. Who knows exactly how these are formed or how any of them develop? It’s just interesting to see that these basic types are present in most work environments. There are, of course, the other types such as the ‘do nothings’, ‘the constant complainers’ and ‘the can’t fire thems’ but I think these characters tend to fall into work type #4.
Now that you can recognize and identify some of these characters at your current workplace, or even in your old workplace, have fun trying to concoct how you think they became that way. The big question is of course, why do these people even exist at every work place? I’ve mentioned my ideas but I welcome any suggestions you might have to explain this naturally occurring phenomenon.
Here are some of the types that I’ve identified:
1) The Kiss A$$ – oh we all know this person much too well. This is the person who agrees with everything the big boss says even if it’s the stupidest, most illogical thing to ever be spoken. This person has no backbone to stand up to the boss. And this person is almost always on every list for a promotion. Inevitably, they always get the promotions leaving the rest of the department scratching their heads with confusion. This person is usually incredibly dumb but politically office savvy. Most likely, they went to Business School.
2) The Workaholic – the person who never gets up from their desk to go to the bathroom. Who is in the office before everyone else and who is there until the rooster crows the next morning. This person then goes out to get a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks and returns to work another 48 hour day. Everyone knows this person has no life and that’s why they are there all the time. These people also tend to be in a high position and think that everyone under them should conform to the same insane work schedule they are on. However, there isn’t enough Starbucks coffee in the whole world to justify this kind of work schedule for any one. The workaholic usually isn’t as efficient or productive as they like to think they are. Everyone, but the workaholic, knows this.
3) The Work Garbage Dump – this person is not a workaholic but does all the work for the whole department and never gets any credit for their efficiency. If these people didn’t exist in the workplace, absolutely no work would get done at all. This person never gets promoted and this person always gets treated poorly by senior management because they think abusing the worker will make them stay there longer. (Yes, I don’t understand the psychology behind this either.) This person mainly has a strong work ethic and is living from paycheck to paycheck. This person is also secretly always on the phone with recruiters scooping out other offerings. When this person leaves the company, all mistakes are later blamed on them.
4) The Positive Spinner – this person knows deep inside that workplace politics are a pain in the tukhis but they spin everything in a positive light. When more work comes your way, they say ‘This is your chance to develop your skills and put it on your resume’. This person also claims that the boss’ picking on you is ‘A way of making you stronger as a person.’ Most of the time this person thinks they are sincere but to everyone else they come off as a complete phony.
Actually, I have some theories of how these individuals came to be. Work types 1, 2 and 4 are products of the work world. They are not born this way but are created. People can see the inherent glimpses of these types as early as pre-school but were they born that way? I think not, but I suppose it’s debatable. Work type #1 is usually the teacher’s pet in school. No matter what they do, they get away with murder. However, in the school world the teacher’s pet can either be the very smart kid who has all the answers or the wise ass, who provides the teacher with a much-needed laugh. However, in the business world, the latter is the one that manifests itself. As soon as this type is identified, it is best to stay far away from them. Any chance they get, they will stab anyone in the back in order to be seen in the bright shining broadway vision of the big boss.
Work type #2 is the kid who never wanted to go home from school. They were trying to avoid something going on at home, arguing parents, lack of attention etc. This person is still trying to hide something in their adulthood. Usually they are hiding the fact that their relationship with a significant other is on the rocks. Or they are hiding the fact that they are terribly annoying people that no sane person in the world would want to be near. So, they obtain gratification by working a lot in hopes that this will seem ambitious in the eyes of higher ups.
Work type #4 is a crafty character in some ways. These are the kids in school who can blend in with any clique and crowd - the chameleons. As they’ve grown up, they have used this facile shift of appearance and personality to their advantage. These are the epitome of spies. They bring information from one camp to another and in doing so have learned the ways to manipulate this information to their own advantage. Mainly I say tread with caution around these types as well. However, if you can surmise this type early on, you can use it to your advantage by gaining information, except that you don’t squeal the information between groups.
As I mentioned earlier, work type #3 is perhaps born that way. They are the kids who do thing by the book, follow rules (despite secretly hating them and all authority impositions) and they get things done. Sometimes they do this because they like to make people happy, sometimes it’s to get into the good graces of others. Sometimes they are just a degree or two lower on the workaholic scale than type #2. Who knows exactly how these are formed or how any of them develop? It’s just interesting to see that these basic types are present in most work environments. There are, of course, the other types such as the ‘do nothings’, ‘the constant complainers’ and ‘the can’t fire thems’ but I think these characters tend to fall into work type #4.
Now that you can recognize and identify some of these characters at your current workplace, or even in your old workplace, have fun trying to concoct how you think they became that way. The big question is of course, why do these people even exist at every work place? I’ve mentioned my ideas but I welcome any suggestions you might have to explain this naturally occurring phenomenon.
Reading between the Lines
I enjoy taking public transportation for the sole reason that it allows me to catch up on my reading. And I’m always reading something so I try to take public transportation as much as humanly possible so I can get my reading done. Also, I find myself waiting on lines a lot and having a book around always comes in handy in those situations.
What I get a kick out of a lot of the times when I’m on the train is to see what other people are reading. Sometimes I just like to observe their facial expressions as they are reading books I’ve read. Do they like it? What part are they on?
Recently, I saw a woman reading “Special Topics in Calamity Physics” by Marsha Pessl, which is one of my favorite books in recent years. It’s a big book of at least 500 pages. This poor woman was reading through it though while holding onto the pole in the middle of the subway car and she didn’t seem to be flustered or aggravated with having to hold this book up. I could tell she was intrigued and even fascinated by this book and I was happy. I hope she enjoys it as much as I did.
Other times, I see people reading books that I didn’t like and I want to ask them what they think of it – if they like and why. Instead I just sit and observe since it’s easier than getting clobbered on the MTA by a stranger.
What I get a kick out of a lot of the times when I’m on the train is to see what other people are reading. Sometimes I just like to observe their facial expressions as they are reading books I’ve read. Do they like it? What part are they on?
Recently, I saw a woman reading “Special Topics in Calamity Physics” by Marsha Pessl, which is one of my favorite books in recent years. It’s a big book of at least 500 pages. This poor woman was reading through it though while holding onto the pole in the middle of the subway car and she didn’t seem to be flustered or aggravated with having to hold this book up. I could tell she was intrigued and even fascinated by this book and I was happy. I hope she enjoys it as much as I did.
Other times, I see people reading books that I didn’t like and I want to ask them what they think of it – if they like and why. Instead I just sit and observe since it’s easier than getting clobbered on the MTA by a stranger.
In Praise of Folly
Recently my doctor told me I really had to make an effort to get to the gym. The battery of tests I had taken began to suggest some future problems if I didn’t start to take care of myself. So, with the fear of a supreme being in my veins, I’ve taken to restructuring my weekly schedule so I can fit in 4 visits to the gym per week. I’ve been very proud of myself since I’ve been following this for a few weeks now. Just when I should be super proud of myself, my rotten luck surfaces.
Last night in a rush to watch ’30 Rock’ I prepared a bag with my work clothes very quickly. This morning I headed out with my gym clothes on and work clothes bag in tow. I was sitting on the train content with my stick-to-itiveness when I realized that I didn’t pack a bra or underwear to change into. GASP!!! From pure calm, my brains gears raced to figure out Plan B. I could stop at Chambers street and get some items from a store that opens at 7:30. Yes, that’s what I would do. And then I would head to the gym as planned and just cut my time by 15 minutes, which I’d make up later in the week.
I got off the train at Chambers street as planned and was caught in a wave of people getting to work which made my usual insanely fast walking pace come to a semi halt as I had to wait for spaces to weave in and out of to get to my destination. When I finally got to the store, the holiday tourist crowd was blocking the entrance way and despite my yelling “EXCUSE ME” in the few languages I know…No one moved. But I pushed through them anyway.
When I got to the second floor and found my bra size and underwear, I had to wait on an eternally long line to pay. Of course by the time I got all this done and got to the gym, it was much later than I had expected. So, at least I got to shower at the gym!
When I told this story to a couple of my pals, they laughed. I probably should be offended but this is typical glimpse at how things happen in my life.
Last night in a rush to watch ’30 Rock’ I prepared a bag with my work clothes very quickly. This morning I headed out with my gym clothes on and work clothes bag in tow. I was sitting on the train content with my stick-to-itiveness when I realized that I didn’t pack a bra or underwear to change into. GASP!!! From pure calm, my brains gears raced to figure out Plan B. I could stop at Chambers street and get some items from a store that opens at 7:30. Yes, that’s what I would do. And then I would head to the gym as planned and just cut my time by 15 minutes, which I’d make up later in the week.
I got off the train at Chambers street as planned and was caught in a wave of people getting to work which made my usual insanely fast walking pace come to a semi halt as I had to wait for spaces to weave in and out of to get to my destination. When I finally got to the store, the holiday tourist crowd was blocking the entrance way and despite my yelling “EXCUSE ME” in the few languages I know…No one moved. But I pushed through them anyway.
When I got to the second floor and found my bra size and underwear, I had to wait on an eternally long line to pay. Of course by the time I got all this done and got to the gym, it was much later than I had expected. So, at least I got to shower at the gym!
When I told this story to a couple of my pals, they laughed. I probably should be offended but this is typical glimpse at how things happen in my life.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Time to Tease
We may use “teasing” to refer to the affectionate banter of middle-school friends, to the offensive passes of impulsive bosses and to the language of heart-palpitating flirtation, to humiliation that scars psyches (harsh teasing about obesity can damage a child’s sense of self for years) and to the repartee that creates a peaceful space between siblings.
I found this article in today's New York Times. The article discusses teasing and the importance of it. Overall, this is a fantastic article because it explains how we've lost this practice of teasing and how it actually evolved. I picked this out because I love to tease people....but at the same time I have a very strong awareness of when teasing crosses over into meanness. The author states that there is an important developmental step that we are missing by not teasing others becuase we are so super 'pc'.
For instance, my sister and I practically only communicate by teasing each other. Part of the fun of talking to my sister is to 'one up' her with some silly nickname. And she can really throw punches better than any one else I know. But if you looked at her, you wouldn't expect that because she's actually quite shy.
This article also made me think of my friendships. I often tease my friends and they tease me back and we have a wonderful rapport by doing this. Through teasing we are unconsciously communicating our real feelings, which is another reason why this article is interesting. The mother in the article makes a very potent diagnosis based on what she knows about teasing. Usually boys tease the girls they like the most and vice versa and that's sweet.
However, there are some people who have no idea how to tease at all. They think they are teasing but they really mean harm. I'm thinking of a certain tease that I get from a person who shall remain nameless. The tease is 'knuckle head' and everyone knows that people who are knuckle heads aren't the brightest bulbs. So I get very annoyed by this person when they call me that which is why I call the person 'fatty'. I know, it's not very mature. But this person doesn't seem to understand that calling someone a knucklehead is not a nice thing. They defend themselves by saying 'I'm only joking'. But are they really? I don't think so.
I feel sorry for people who don't know how to tease people because they are missing out on the closeness that comes from that silly behavior.
I found this article in today's New York Times. The article discusses teasing and the importance of it. Overall, this is a fantastic article because it explains how we've lost this practice of teasing and how it actually evolved. I picked this out because I love to tease people....but at the same time I have a very strong awareness of when teasing crosses over into meanness. The author states that there is an important developmental step that we are missing by not teasing others becuase we are so super 'pc'.
For instance, my sister and I practically only communicate by teasing each other. Part of the fun of talking to my sister is to 'one up' her with some silly nickname. And she can really throw punches better than any one else I know. But if you looked at her, you wouldn't expect that because she's actually quite shy.
This article also made me think of my friendships. I often tease my friends and they tease me back and we have a wonderful rapport by doing this. Through teasing we are unconsciously communicating our real feelings, which is another reason why this article is interesting. The mother in the article makes a very potent diagnosis based on what she knows about teasing. Usually boys tease the girls they like the most and vice versa and that's sweet.
However, there are some people who have no idea how to tease at all. They think they are teasing but they really mean harm. I'm thinking of a certain tease that I get from a person who shall remain nameless. The tease is 'knuckle head' and everyone knows that people who are knuckle heads aren't the brightest bulbs. So I get very annoyed by this person when they call me that which is why I call the person 'fatty'. I know, it's not very mature. But this person doesn't seem to understand that calling someone a knucklehead is not a nice thing. They defend themselves by saying 'I'm only joking'. But are they really? I don't think so.
I feel sorry for people who don't know how to tease people because they are missing out on the closeness that comes from that silly behavior.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)